Not good news

So we found out yesterday that our foster kids will be going home in the next few weeks. The case worker admits that it is probably not a good idea to send them back to that, but they made so many mistakes in the biginning of this case that they really have no choice. The other lawyers would eat them up if they tried to terminate parental rights. So now we get to pack up the kids and send them back to an extremely unsafe situation. This sucks. Unfortunately, as a foster parent you have to accept what the judge says. Even though he never meets with us or the kids. That is just wrong.
So I guess we will be bringing in a new placement in the next few weeks. That is always so difficult. We manage to get through somehow, but it is difficult. We are really pursueing the adoption thing, though. We have put our name in for several cases. I just hope that it happens quickly. I pray and I pray and time keeps going. I know that I am just feeling down right now, but I just feel like I am very alone in this.
Miranda is currently standing in line for Jonas Brother tickets. She is with a friend and they are trying to get good seats. I think this is a huge step for us in letting her do this. We trust her so much, she has earned it. However, as a parent I want to keep her safe and I can't do it in a situation like this. I keep trying my best to cover all the bases though.
Cadi is with her dance team at adjudication. They have worked pretty hard, but Cadi would says they should have put in a lot more effort in this case. I am sure they will do fine. She was feeling so sick with this cold though. I felt really bad for her having to go and spend about 12 hours down there while she is feeling so bad.
Chey is at work. At least we hope so... She continues to do the same old behaviors. She really is a good kid, she just does not see the consequenses of being a major slacker. When I say major I mean major. This kid does her best to do absolutely nothing. I just don't understand her. She is very different than all of the kids or myself.
The little ones are spending this cold day watching movies and playing.
Me? I am trying really hard to get the laundry caught up and the house back in order after a long week of having a guest and not feeling my best.

First Post 1/2/08

I have wanted to do this for awhile, but finding the time is always difficult. I am the Mom of five wonderful, fabulous, amazing kids. Plus, we have three amazing foster kids that have been with us for the past 10 months. We have done foster care for almost four years and are hoping that this placement will lead to an adoption. I know we are supposed to be all about reunification, and usually we are, but this time these kids would not be safe returning home to bio family. We go to our second permancy hearing on the tenth of January. I am told that anything could happen. All the power lays in the judges hands and he never speaks to the foster parents. Oh well, that is the way it works.

My oldest is eighteen and I can not imagine what I must have put my mother through when I was her age. It is so hard watching them make these huge decisions with very little real world experience to draw from. I guess we all have to go through it though.

My youngest is only two and he is our only boy. It has been such an amazing experience learning how to mother a boy. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking the differences between boys and girls is learned. From birth this little boy has been completely different from all of our girls. A challenge but a good one. I think I needed him to come along and mellow me out a little. He has been a lesson in not letting the little things get to me. He has taught me (an ongoing lesson) that my house does not have to be spotless at all times.

The kids returned to school today after their Christmas break. I don't think any of us were ready. We homeschooled for a while but returned the kids to regular school about three years ago. My sixteen year old daughter only attends one class at school and then does the rest at home on the computer. This works best for her ADHD mind. She has been a challenge, but well worth it. My husband, Mark, is thinking about finding a second job to help with the finances. He just wants to get ahead. I can understand that, but I know how tired he gets working his full time job.