I Know. I Will.....

I don't feel like I've had much to say lately.

It's all been fluff...

filler...

meaningless.

I'm struggling to find my place.

My voice.

I have so many thoughts running through my head.

I can't seem to make them reach my mouth.

I know what I'm supposed to say.

I know what is expected of me.

I know.

I know.

I know...

SCREAM!!!!!!

I know...

I just can't seem to find the feelings that go along with that knowledge.

I'm in a dead zone.

The one thing that I know is that I love my family.

They are what gets me through another day.

I miss my older peeps.

I miss them so much.

But...

That is the way life goes.

My little ones have really drawn closer.

They spend a lot of time. reading and doing puzzles.

Watching them makes me smile.

Smiles are good!

Don't worry.

Really.

Stop it!

I will get through this...

whatever "this" is...

Lonely sounds wrong and empty and stupid.

I WILL get through this.

I will.

I will.

I WILL........