The Business of Living...

I know... I promised photos.

And then...

I went crazy for a day... literally... it was not good... tears and anger directed... at the state but sadly at my husband... who couldn't do anything to change their minds or "fix" things... and for that, I was mad.  I think I was truly scared and that came out in my own way.

I have apologized to all for letting myself be taken down that path.  I will say it again, however, I am sorry.

The very next day after court... and the almost certain reassurance that these babies would be ours forever... we are now being told, "No.  We think we will send them to this other place out of our state... to someone they don't know... who already had several other grandchildren in her home and isn't really capable of taking care of two little babies... but, Oh well."  People, this is literally the way the state workers are talking.

Why didn't I remember how messed up the system is.  They rarely "help" kids.  They talk with so many good intentions, but in the end it is a rare thing that they actually do the best thing for the children.  We had almost decided to stop doing foster care because of these issues... and then their promises began. 

Now, I am heartbroken.  My husband is heartbroken.  My children are heartbroken.

Again, anything can happen.  We have seen it all.  In the end they could stay or go.  We have been shocked over and over again at the states decisions.  For as much as the states claim greatness in all that they do to help... those of us working on the inside... sure see another side.

Okay, I have ranted enough.  Now, I will get down to the business of taking care of my family... and these babies.  We aren't sure where to go from here... but the possibility that we will be done working with the state is very real.  My kids don't need this emotional rollercoaster... and neither do my husband or I.

I will now get back to the business of living...

Thanks for listening.